I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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