The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
