I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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