she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
