if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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