Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Randomize
