just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize