u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
