I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
