Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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