Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
