Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
