Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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