If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Vodka?
Forever.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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