Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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