why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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