i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
