It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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