So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
