**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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