Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
