That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
