apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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