drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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