Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
