i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
