I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
