Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
