in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
