I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
