Im at strip club and am horny
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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