See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
