next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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