is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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