I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
