You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
