I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
