from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
