it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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