He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
