You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
