My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
