i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
