id be glad to
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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