it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
