Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
