When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
