when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
