bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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