Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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