God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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