She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
