i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
