Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
