watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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