I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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