So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
