Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
