Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
