Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
