The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
