you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
