I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
