I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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